Fallen Read online

  Chapter 3

   

  I lie on the couch and try to take a nap.  I have glimpses of the trucks in my mind crossed with images of how I expect tonight's game to go. I try to concentrate on the game but find myself trying to piece together the puzzle of everything that happened earlier.  Before I know it, I’m asleep.  As I rest, I feel safe and secure.  I have an alarm set on my phone, I am alone so no one will disturb me, and I don't think I will reach a REM cycle soon enough to dream.  I am wrong.  I am dreaming, I can tell.  It is the same dream, again.  This is weird. I have never had it on consecutive days, not to mention during a short nap in the afternoon.  

  I look around.  I know this is a dream, at least, I think it is. I can even wake myself from it sometimes. Or at least that's how I remember it. It has never been this detailed though.  I smell something that reminds me of burnt rubber and cinnamon. Things seem more real than usual.  This isn’t a memory I have suppressed from a traumatic event in my childhood. It’s possibly something my mind conjured up from all the movies I have watched.

  Either way I find myself lying on a table, or maybe it's a bed. It is completely flat with no padding. I have a pillow or something similar propping my head up a little, I can’t see it.  It's hard to see anything because it is so bright in here.  But as always, I am unsure where “here” is. 

  The room is bright white. It looks like a hospital room.  I don't know hospital rooms well. I have always been very healthy. I have never broken a bone, needed surgery, or even rolled an ankle. I am making the connection from what I have seen on TV or patients I’ve visited.  I can look around but I cannot move. It is probably sleep paralysis.  I am glad for that since I have always been a sleepwalker.  

  On the right hand side, by my head, I can see what resembles a heart monitor. On my left is a stainless steel tray but I cannot see what is on it.  The room seems round, with large picture windows on both sides and even a second level of them.  It seems odd for a room to be round instead of square. I blink a couple times to see if it’s actually like that, or if it’s just my perception.

  There is a door directly past my feet with yet another picture window on the second level directly over the door. I cannot look up, it is still too bright.  Those aren't the only lights in the room. It looks like there are lights coming up from the floor, on the edges of the windows, and all around me.  I remember this dream, what usually happens next is a doctor walks in carrying a clipboard. 

  Wait, this time is different.  Two people walk in. Neither of them holds a clipboard. Why is this dream different? I am not afraid, I have had this dream probably 50 times before and it only becomes scary at the end when I cannot see, only feel what happens. Each time, my body jolts like I have been electrified.  

  The dark contrast of the people versus how bright the room is makes it hard to see any detail of them.  They wear dark clothes that appear to be deep grey or black.  They also wear dark goggles and surgical masks.  What kind of a hospital has anything but white or blue? I have never seen black, even in my dream.  They have always been white clothes.

  One of them approaches each side of me.  The one on my right looks like he is typing on something next to the heart monitor, it must be another machine behind it I cannot see.  He does not type down like on a keyboard, he types like it is on a vertical touch screen. The other one slides the rolling tray out of the way on my left and pulls something into my view above me. 

  It is hard to describe.  It looks large and rectangular, stainless steel on the edges, and it’s electronic.  I can see different colored lights inside the box. Now that I stare at it, it moves like the human arm as if the shoulder was attached to the wall. It reminds me of the light they use at the dentist's office, only bigger. I almost laugh, are they planning on cleaning my teeth in my sleep? 

  I feel like I am awake in this dream, as if I can get up at any moment. But I want to see how it ends.  I need to see this. I have never experienced everything so vividly in previous dreams so I want to continue on.   The machine on my left is pulled down to my chest.  It is large enough to cover me shoulder to shoulder and neck to waist.  It touches my torso. It is cold but not heavy.  The arm holds most of the weight.

  Once it is in place there is a flash of light on the wall behind me.  It is not the same as all the other lights. It almost looks like a projector showing a slideshow on the wall. These are darker lights; blues, greens, and greys.  The doctors look up at it.  The rest of the lights go dim and I can now see into all of the picture windows. 

  They are full of doctors.  I want to know why they are all watching this. I am not sick; I rarely even catch a cold. I cannot make out anyone specifically. They are only silhouettes. 

  The doctor on my right turns with his back to the screen.  He gestures like he is giving a lecture to a college class but I cannot tell if he is saying anything. Is this an x-ray? Why would they be looking at someone who is so healthy and active? Maybe that is the reason they are doing this. Not because there is something wrong, but because there is nothing wrong. 

  I turn my head to the right to get a better look at the heart monitor and the doctor stops his gesturing and focuses on me.  He signals the doctor on the left.  I try to turn my head but it feels like I am in slow motion. I am still looking at the doctor on my right and he nods to the doctor on the left.  I am now much farther than I have ever been in this dream. It has always been so hard to remember the details, but not this time. 

  I feel a pinch in my left arm.  It feels as if I just got stung by something.  The sting scares me enough to make me twitch. I have to see what that was so I force my head left. I can turn my head a little faster now.  With this machine on my chest I cannot see my arm.  What was that? My arm feels like fire. It also feels like ice at the same time.  It tingles, like putting your tongue on a nine volt battery. 

  I can feel it start spreading slowly up my arm.  I recognize this feeling.  It is the electric feeling that sits me up out of bed. I’m starting not to like this anymore. The farther it spreads, the more intense the pain and the faster it moves through me.  I don't want to see how this dream ends anymore! I just want out!  I want to wake up!  I try to move and concentrate on waking myself. I thrust my shoulders back and forth, but I cannot move under this box. 

  The electricity spreads across my chest and back, like a wave passing through my entire body.  I tense up. This explains why I jerk awake sweating when I have this dream. Out of the corner of my eye I see the doctor on the right gesturing more frequently, as if he is excited.  It seems as if he is trying to prove a point to all the other doctors.  The wave of electricity has now passed all the way through me. It hurts so bad that I scream! It startles the doctor. He spins around and starts typing or pressing buttons on the machine behind the heart monitor.  He seems frantic, like he is trying to shut it off.  I cannot take the pain anymore. I need this machine off of me now.  I need to wake up.  From my left I see something come into view. They are putting something over my face.  I let out another painful scream as lightning strikes outside my living room window and I sit up on my couch. 

  I say to myself. "What the fuck?"