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Chapter 4

   

  I sit on the couch and try to gather my thoughts. I wipe the sweat off my forehead and the back of my neck.  My shirt is soaked with sweat, a cold sweat.  I’m freezing.  I can still feel the tingle in my hands and feet. It is not painful like in the dream. It’s pins and needles like they fell asleep.  I notice the storm outside. I don't remember them saying anything about a thunderstorm on the weather.  I hope it passes before the game starts.  I check my phone for the time. Either way I am not going back to sleep! My phone shows 5:24PM.  That can't be right because I have to be on the field at six.  I wipe my eyes to check it again. My alarm didn't go off at 4:30 like it was supposed to! I was only going to nap for 45 minutes. I check it again. 

  "Fuck!" I say out loud as I jump from the couch and run to the door.

  Since it’s only six miles to school from my house and it is all highway, it only takes six minutes to drive there.  When I reach the end of my driveway I have pictures in my head of the last time I was here.  The sets of black parallel lines are extremely noticeable on the road.  The smell of burnt rubber is still in the air.  I am in a hurry to get to the locker room but all I can think about is the dream, and the events from earlier.  I don’t understand what the hell is going on today. I do not need distractions like this.  I have to concentrate on the game that starts in an hour and a half.  

  I park my truck as close to the locker room as I can. The opposing team gets to dress in the varsity girl’s locker room which is next to the mine. I walk down the sidewalk to the locker room door when I hear someone yell my name.

  “Dursky!”

  I look up to see who it is.

  “Glad you could join us. I’d hate to win tonight without you.” The voice says.

  I look in to the crowd of white football jerseys. It was someone from the other team. A few of them are outside getting ankles and wrists taped before warm ups. A player steps through the small crowd. It is Mike Farrell. He’s been my opponent in every sport since we were kids. We also have a few extended cousins in common, not a perk of being from a rural country area.

  He is a giant compared to me and looks like a grown man. He has a full beard and a clear height and weight advantage. With his size, comes strength I will never have, no matter how much I lift weights. He has always had a grudge against me I don’t understand. We are probably evenly matched for number of wins and losses over our lifetime, but he still talks to me like he has something to prove.

  I want to respond but do not know what to say. He’s probably just trying to get in my head anyway. I walk past without acknowledging him.

  When I get into the locker room, it’s busy.  There’s a stench of sweaty football pads, athletes foot, and icy hot. I love it. I want to talk to someone about the incident on the road earlier.  I want to tell someone about my dream. Everyone is in their own world getting prepared for the game.  I need to focus. My future may depend on this game.  I need all of them to concentrate as well.  I decide to keep it to myself for the time being. 

  The thunderstorm has passed so the sound of thunder is replaced with heavy rock music blaring from a stereo inside the locker room.  Most of my teammates are in uniform without the helmet and shoulder pads on yet.  Everyone knows I like space while getting ready so no one talks to me. I get dressed and start on my way out of the locker room and head to the field to warm up.   

  Our uniforms are royal blue with white accents.  I have one of my dad's old jerseys at home.  Back then the school colors had red in them as an accent color.  It was very patriotic.  To honor my dad, his friends, and everyone who went to school here during that time period, I wear my own red clothing added to the uniform.  I have long red socks, a red belt, and red armbands.  Everyone teases that I look like a football version of Spiderman, even the opposing teams and fans. I like the added pressure, it makes me perform better. Lila says she likes it because she is able to find me in a pile of football players on the field at any given moment. I also think she likes it because she is the only fan wearing red accents and it makes her easier to spot from the end zone when I score. I am usually humble when I score a touchdown, all I do is point to my biggest fan, Lila. 

  As I walk to the field I see Lila.  She looks beautiful.  She’s an amazing girlfriend.  Yes we have had our fair share of fights and mistakes, but each time we learn something new about each other and grow stronger.  This is not one of those opposites attract deals.  We don’t have everything in common.  We are a perfect blend of comfort, similarities, smart ass banter, and flirty nervousness. Even after almost a year of being together she still has the ability to make me nervous and take my breath away. 

  I look at her and feel this way now.  Her presence has a way of making everything fade away.  She stands at the fence, right next to the gate I pass through to reach the field.  This is the same place she stands before each game. She waits here to see me one more time. Then she goes to the bleachers with her best friend, my little sister, Ayla, to watch the game. She lights up and smiles when she sees me.  She glows. I love how she looks in the travel version of the jersey I’m wearing.  It’s a white jersey with a big red 5 on the front and back. It’s a custom jersey I made for her to help me find her in the crowd. It’s large on her so she ties it in the back, which exposes her midriff.  I have butterflies as I approach her.  The jersey has our mascot spelled out on the front in blue: "Sabers" and my last name reaches from shoulder to shoulder on her back: "DURSKY."  She has her strawberry blonde hair pulled back into a pony tail, held in place with a blue and white ribbon.  She has red paint on her face.  On her left cheek it is simple, just the number 5.  On her right is a detailed picture of our mascot, crossed saber swords.  The rest of her outfit is flattering to her figure as well.  She wears short jean shorts and her favorite cowboy boots. I still don’t understand why she chose me, I feel very lucky.  As far as I can tell, she could have anyone she wants, but she chose me. 

  "Whooooooooo!" She howls while clapping, and my sister joins in when she notices. 

  I smile at her. I love having someone who is always there for me through the thick and thin.  Not to take anything away from my parents and how much they support me. She chooses to do this. They are sort of obligated. I have never stopped to say anything to her while entering the field.  I have never stopped to talk to anyone before a game, so she seems surprised when I walk to her and not the gate.  I kiss her. 

  "I love you." I say.

  "You guys are so freakin' cute!" Ayla says while looking down at her cell phone.

  "Thanks Seester." I reply without breaking eye contact with Lila.

  "Good luck tonight." Ayla says. 

  I hear her but do not acknowledge what she said.  I look into Lila's beautiful green eyes.  She smiles again, and so do I. 

  "Ask your mom if I can stay over tonight." I tell her.

  "I will ask as soon as she gets here." She replies.

  "Wait for me after the game if she says no and I can't come over."

  "Don't I always wait for you?" She exclaims with a flirty sass. 

  I grab her hand and kiss her lips one more time before I go onto the field.

  As I walk away I hear Ayla say to Lila "I am sooo planning your bachelorette party as soon as he proposes."

  With a faint reply I hear Lila say "No strippers!"

  I hear them burst into laughter. They’ve been best friends longer than we’ve been dating. Lila is one year younger than me, Ayla is two years younger. They have always had the same bus route and got to know each other.

  Looking over from my seat on the field in the captain’s row I see Lila and Ayla run over to the bleachers and sit with my dad and stepmom. They are also accompanied with Lila’s mom. I feel relaxed. This place on the field while I stretch is sort of my comfort zone. I love the sound of rock music blaring from the press box, the smell of popcorn, and the feel of the grass.

>   I watch as Lila runs up the stairs to get to her seat. As she turns to walk down the row I see her pass several men in distinct colors. I get a knot in my stomach as I realize who they are, college football scouts!